Tag Archives: seizures

Feeling “All Shook Up?” Part 2

Secure-Gods-Heart-for-You-Embracing-Your-True-Worth-as-a-Woman-by-Holley-Gerth

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.” (Psalm 23:2 KJV)

 

“Many of the places we may be led into will appear to us as dark, deep dangerous and somewhat disagreeable. But it simply must be remembered that He is there with us in it. He is very much at work in the situation. It is His energy, effort and strength expended on my behalf that even in this deep, dark place is bound to produce a benefit for me.” (A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, by Phillip Keller)

FLASHBACK: As the tech wheeled me down the long halls of Northwestern Hospital in Chicago, all I could think about was finally having an answer.   An answer for the plethora of bizarre medical symptoms I had been experiencing for months. I had four little ones at home ages 1-8 years, and they desperately wanted their mommy back.  She wheeled me into a room; the doctor walked in, closed the door, and began speaking to me as if I were a naughty toddler.  She explained to me that the EEG was completely normal, as well as the other tests. She condescendingly informed me that I did not want to have seizures, because “people who have seizures are not allowed to drive.” She likewise explained that I did not want to have Myasthenia Gravis either, because “it is a terrible disease that sometimes leaves ones in wheelchairs.”

Did she honestly believe I was there because I really WANTED to have some terrible illness?!

She then let me know they had ruled out the possibility of there being anything organically wrong with me. She had also taken the liberty of making an appointment for me with one of their leading psychiatrists.

As she spoke, I felt myself slipping into a black hole. My world was “ALL SHOOK UP!”

Even after arriving home, all I could see was the blackness of the situation. I couldn’t see how any “benefit” could come from this “deep, dark place.”

About an hour later a friend dropped off some food and a sticky note. The sticky note read: “But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” Job 23:10

After reading that simple verse from God’s Word, …my perspective changed. Jesus knew what was happening; He was with me in the trial, and in the end I would “come forth as gold!”

Friends, our Good Shepherd promises us “green pastures and still waters.” But we must follow Him, even when it “appears to us as dark, deep dangerous and somewhat disagreeable.”

Fast-forward 15 years: I now have a diagnosis of Myasthenia Gravis and a seizure disorder. I’m not allowed to drive right now, and the Myasthenia Gravis does affect my daily life. But thankfully it forces me to “lie down in the green pastures and rest beside the quiet waters.”

What about you? Is your life “ALL SHOOK UP!”?

 Follow Jesus (our Good Shepherd). “This deep, dark place is bound to produce a benefit!”

 

Take Courage!

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“It takes courage to hold to truth when lies blur our vision.”  Jo Ann Fore, When a Woman Finds her Voice.

The Scriptures teach that we are engaged in a battle, and it is “not against flesh and blood.” (Ephesians 6)

The week the Holy Spirit made me keenly aware of this truth, I began concerted prayer, asking God to rebuke the demons and deliver me from oppression.  The next Sunday morning, when the weekly attack began in worship, the floodgates seemed to open.  Instead of pleading with the Lord to allow me to make it through the service without an episode, I began rebuking the demons in the name of Jesus.  I began praying against the oppression and asking God to first and foremost “glorify His name.” Right on the heels of that silent prayer, my dear pastor and husband read from the pulpit:

John 12:28:”‘Father, glorify Your name.’ Then a voice came from heaven, saying: ‘I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.”’

Contemplating that moment still gives me chills.

I began to silently claim that I was property of my Lord Jesus and that the demons had no power except that which was given to them.  They began to rage, and I could feel my body beginning to crumble.  I stumbled to the sanctuary doors to make my escape.  I fell in the hallway and my Nalgene bottle bounced onto the tile floor, causing a very loud noise.  My faithful comrades leapt from their seats to assist me.  They carried me to the carpeted library.

Once inside they began to call on the demons to depart in the name of the Lamb of God. My body heaved and jerked violently each time they prayed.  I was tiny (at the time) and three strapping men were struggling greatly to contain me.  I was told my eyes rolled back and I made deep guttural sounds.

This was the first of several united prayer meetings to pray for my deliverance through the cleansing of my body and mind.  Satan’s scare tactics would have overwhelmed us all had it not been for the power of the Holy Spirit, who was present doing battle in and through us.  As was typical, once the worship service in the sanctuary drew to a close, the barrage began to dissipate.

The minute the service ended, my husband came into the library to check on me.  After learning I had had a long and violent experience, his first response was, “I need to get her up off the carpet.” Since we had believed my “seizures” were being caused by extreme allergens in the church building (possibly the carpet), this was a natural reaction.

My answer to him was, “No, they are leaving.” He replied, “Who is leaving.”

I said, “The demons.”

Sharing this excerpt from my book I am working on, Securely Held: My Journey Through Spiritual Warfare, causes me to tremble.  Reader, will you pray for me to take courage? Will you pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to give me boldness to find my voice?

I am linking up with Jo Ann Fore today.  Check out her book, When a Woman Finds Her Voice.  You will be blessed!