Purpose in the Pain


As the tech wheeled me down the long halls of Northwestern Hospital in Chicago, all I could think about was finally having an answer.   An answer for the plethora of bizarre medical symptoms I had been experiencing for months.  I had four little ones at home ages 1-8 years, who desperately wanted their mommy back.
He wheeled me into a room, the doctor walked in, closed the door, and began speaking to me as if I were a naughty toddler.
She explained to me that the EEG was completely normal, as well as the other tests. She condescendingly informed me that I did not want to have seizures, “people with seizures can’t drive”; she then explained that I did not want to have Myasthenia Gravis either, because “it is a terrible disease that sometimes leaves ones in wheelchairs.”

Did she honestly believe I was there because I really wanted to have some terrible illness?!

She then let me know that they had ruled out the possibility of there being anything organically wrong with me; and that she had taken the liberty of making an appointment for me with one of their leading psychiatrists. 

As she spoke, I felt myself slipping into a black hole.

Fourteen years and many doctors, counselors, medications, and prayer vigils after that devastating day, it was confirmed last week by a neurologist in Georgia,  that I do indeed have Myasthenia Gravis.
I did receive that diagnosis by a separate doctor in Indiana shortly after the Northwestern experience, but until last week it had been debated. A main part of the confusion was the fact that I continued to complain of “seizures”, and seizures and MG do not go together. However, it has now been discovered that when the muscles become fatigued by the MG, they can shake and jerk as they fight to work, which of course to the lay person could appear to be a seizure.

Dear friends, I want you all to know that there has been a distinct purpose for the pain, humiliation, and confusion that I have endured for the last 15 years.

God has used the time to cause me to deal with the spiritual warfare aspects of my problems, as well as the mental and emotional scars of my past.

He has truly used my time serving on the launch team for Jo Ann Fore’s book, When a Woman Finds Her Voice, to give me boldness to find my own.

As soon as I stepped out in obedience to share my painful past; He revealed the final puzzle piece to my issues, the physical aspect.

I began a new medication last week. Please pray that it might be effectual, and that surgery to remove my thymus won’t be needed.

“Sometimes a stronger, more realistic faith is birthed in the darkest of pits.”
Jo Ann Fore, When a Woman Finds Her Voice.

Order your copy of this amazing book today!

26 thoughts on “Purpose in the Pain

  1. shanyns

    Oh my heart aches for you, and rejoices with you as well! I know that pain of *knowing* something is wrong and hearing not one person believe you! It is discouraging and exhausting. So very happy you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan! And your grace through this, and your willingness to let God use you, and this pain, is nothing short of inspiring. Bless you!

  2. Barbara Ferreira

    At last! I’m so happy for you.. that sounds strange, saying I’m happy you have a disease.. but you know what I mean.. I’m so grateful that the physical cause has been diagnosed.. will pray the meds will be a means of “cure”. Finally, Cheryl.. and I speak as one who has witnessed those seizures.. praise God!

    Where can I order the book? I can’t find it on Amazon.

    Love you,


    When are you all going to Corpus next? Anytime this Thanksgiving or Christmas??


    1. securelyheld Post author

      Always so special to read your comments, Barbara. Yes, finally! Don’t know when we are going to get to go to Corpus. Pray The Lord might work something out over the Christmas holidays.

  3. Jo Ann Fore

    Oh Cheryl,

    I knew we had some things in common, but I didn’t realize that you too had gone through the diagnosis wheel. And such excruciating physical and emotional pain as a result of that. I am so very sorry. But oh how happy I am, rejoicing in the fact that you have answers. It’s somehow easier to fight something when you know what you are fighting! Praise. His. Name.

    Thank you for sharing this. This is real life. Real hope.

    Praying for compete healing!

  4. Holly Duncan

    Excellent! I really appreciated how you connected the past 15 years with the current day…. How God has answered your prayers with this diagnosis. So excited for you.
    Love you,

  5. My Secret Place

    Cheryl, I can only imagine your relief at finally having a ‘name’ for what you had known all along. And I can only imagine the havoc the spiritual, mental and emotional havoc the enemy wreaked through all the ‘doubt, disbelief and misdiagnoses of others. The devil is a liar but GOD is TRUE!!
    And now, it has been called out by name and shall be strategically prayed for and dealt with in just that way! Praise God with you for the Victory!
    Bless you!!!

  6. Gale Bowen

    Having answers is certainly a great place to start! I know you are relieved, but, also now, wondering where this road will lead you. As you have discovered, The Lord only knows. But He will go with you every step of the way, even if the steps are many and difficult.

  7. fearlessheartministries

    Praising the Lord for answers. There is such a relief in knowing and being validated in what we have known to be happening in our own bodies. I walked that journey for three years. Finally the Lord sent the right doctors and a proper diagnoses was made of endometriosis. I will certainly be praying as you start the new meds. and move forward. Let us know how you continue to do. Holding you up in prayer! ~Victoria

  8. Gay Idle

    How I know the relief that floods over you when you finally have a name to a health mystery. I am praising God with you that now you have answers and I will continue to pray that God has healing in your future. In the meantime, sweet sister I know that He is walking beside you every step of this journey and I am thankful that you are holding on and trusting in Him!

  9. Sharon Denfeld

    Wow! What a revelation, Cheryl. What a story! I pray that the medication will be effective. The Great Physician was there all the time. Thank you for your voice. I continue to pray for you my friend. Sharon

  10. Alan Lutz

    Praise the Lord! Another good article, and precious closure to our long struggle.

    On Wed, Oct 16, 2013 at 2:03 PM, securely held

  11. judypoe222@comcast.net

    I’m glad that you finally have a definitive diagnosis, and pray that you will not have severe symptoms.  I’m thankful that your pain has helped to deal with the other issues.

    Judy Creamer


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